from the bottom of my broken heart.

I don't know if I'm mean
But as far as I know,
I'm trying my best to be a betterman
I never wanted to get involved in political sh*t
Let alone,forgetting about my friends

To You, the first heartbroken soul:
I have never forgotten.
We just lack the OPPORTUNITY to hang out.
No one's to be blamed here,
it's just time's being mean.
But if you wanna go ahead and say I'm the ONE,
like i said, there's nothing I can do to change your mindset.

We hardly talk,
thats because i hardly talk to anyone
But you chose to listen to others
again I don't mind.
I have always kept quiet,
but my silence has its limits
& when i say ït's all up to you,
you say i don't care.

I DO CARE,
alot.
sometimes more than my family.
myself.

But when you people run to each other and share about how much I've changed without bothering to check what's really happening,
it just turns sour.
But I kept quiet again,
because I know sh*t happens and that I''m not an angel and I can't stop people from talking about me.

To You, heartbroken Soul 2(Or maybe not so heartbroken afterall):
But when it happens countless times and my closest friends have to tell me and ask me about what's bothering each and everytime between us,
I just get really pissed.
Because here I am struggling to keep my feet on the ground,
when you get to anyone and just get it all busted.
I never wanted people to think that there's anything wrong happening
because when it happens, I know it's gonna be me.
& worse, i hate it when my closest ones have to worry about what's going on.
about my own problems.
i never wanted them to come into the picture and get all upset.
because i love them.
I know I hurt you and forgot about it all,
but it has always been hard for me to FORGET.
I said mean things to you, but that's because I'm really mad and I said things I don't mean.
I don't know if your annoying & irrtating behavior's actually to stamp your initials on my forehead,
but I never can forget you.
because we'll see each other alot.
But you of all people, who claimed to know me better than the rest.
And one sentence, just once sentence made you turn sour and it'll make you remember FOREVER.
Truth is, YOU PLAYED A HUGE PART IN MY LIFE. You shouldve known because I said you are my BEST FRIEND and you claimed to regard me as your own sister.

And hell, if i speak, it's my mind and what i think.
It's never about criticizing people critically.

I tried not to be selfish and find that I'm constantly worrying about others.
I do, but if you don't feel it.
i guess my effort's getting nowhere.
I'm really sorry if i've hurt anyone.
i'm just human.
I'm sorry, I really am.

I've stood for years always getting the blame.
And i just dont want to justify.
I just want you to hear me out.
Because I'm really sick.
I'm very tired.
Life's really unfair,
but come to think of it again,
life has always been.

You see me laughing alot,
but there are just so many challenges I had to face.
Challenges that some other kids don't have to face.
At times, i'm proud because God gave me the extra strength.
But other times, like presently,
I just wish I can escape from the sorrows. I really feel USELESS now, life.
And I really love the rain for knowing when to cheer me up.

VIEWERS'ADVICE.
THIS IS NOT EMO-ING. THIS IS DE-STRESSING.
Siol lah my post damn long.
DIE.